Audrey Beckner's Entry Letter

Top Ten Reasons Why I Should Be Regis' New Co-Host

10. I would never nauseate Regis with tales of my 3 "precious" children. My children are all adults and definitely not precious.

9. Those New Yorkers need someone to teach them how to say Biloxi (it's Bi-lucksi no Bi-locksi).

8. I'm Irish, so naturally I have the gift of gab! I can speak with anyone, anytime, anywhere, about anything. But... I'm also a great listener!

7. There are just too darn many "Yankees" on that show. They need at least one true Southerner-- preferably a demure, genteel, but tough as nails Southern Belle-- that would be me!

6. All of my attention would be totally focused on Regis (The King) as I do not sing, dance, record CDs, write books, perform in Broadway shows, act, or otherwise promote myself.

5. I've raised three children (did a pretty good job-- no firm convictions, no actual prison time, yet) and could help Regis finish "raising" Gellman.

4. As a former nurse, I know a bit about the human anatomy. In my opinion, Regis has the most beautiful feet of any human being who has ever lived! In fact, it would be my great, good fortune to give him a foot rub!

3. I would NEVER, under any circumstances, utter the words, "Is that your final answer?" to Regis.

2. I look better in a thong than Art Moore!

1. Grits for everyone!